Well, I’m still awake again and its late, again. Arg. I’m not sure why I’m becoming an night owl again, but I’m not liking it. Since I can’t sleep (even though I’m tired), my mind of course starts wandering. And then I start thinking more…which makes it harder to go to sleep. Endless cycle.
Anyways. One of the most pressing things on my mind is my mom. I want to ask you to pray for her. She’s going through some testing, all because they found some blood in her urine. They want to rule out any problems, including cancer. That’s the one that scare me. I’ve been trying not to think about it, but I think she’s pretty upset and worried about it. She had an ultrasound today, but the results aren’t in yet. She has another more invasive test sometime next week. Please pray that its not cancer. But pray overall for God’s will to be done. He has a much bigger perspective, of course, and He knows best. Sometimes that includes, or more likely he allows, unpleasant things. But I pray that it isn’t the case this time.
I had to watch both of my grandparents die of cancer (both of them were her parents…yeah, not good odds). I don’t want to see the same with my mom. Please also pray for us kids to have wisdom and to be a good support for her, no matter what the results are. In these cases, I hate that I’m over 2 hours away. Please pray that I’ll know what my role best should be if there is unpleasant results.
I’m also worried that this may trigger my anxiety again. Please pray for peace for me, but especially for my mom and my whole family. I really want to trust God and not get scared of it all. Most of the time I can’t help how my body reacts, even if I try to send it overwhelmingly positive thoughts. I really want to pray that I’m not overwhelmed with anxiety again and that I can support everyone how I should be able to.
So, just pray for us please. And hopefully, after its all said and done…it will be a false alarm on all fronts.
Thanks for your prayers.