This is the 3rd chapter in Jill Savage’s book– My Heart’s At Home. This chapter reviewed a lot of information that I already knew…thanks to counseling classes, but it was still a good reminder of a few things.
- Home needs to be a safe place where we can share our feelings and disappointments.
- As parents, we need to listen to our children sharing their feelings and not just tell them to “buck up” or “get over it.”
- And…this is a hard one for me…we need to listen and not try to fix it. We need to help them discover their own solutions. (Sounds like counseling, huh?)
- We also need to wade through the hurt, grief, anger and frustration instead of just jumping to the hope part of the journey. God wants to build our character through these situations. If we bypass all of these feelings, then we’ll only be stuffing them down inside and building an emotional wall.
- Need to pray about the situation…both alone and with the person that’s hurting.
- “Throughout the healing process, prayer is the most essential element. We can’t love the way God wants us to love without His help. We can’t listen and have the self-control to refrain from trying to fix the person or the problem without His wisdom. We can’t find the patience to wade through the grief and disappointment on our own without His strength. And we can’t hope without knowing God’s promises that He will redeem and restore.”
I know I struggle with the whole letting someone go through pain part. I want to fix things and help them to feel better. But there definitely is a place for dealing with the unpleasant feelings that come through hurt and disappointment. I just hate to be the one or to see another stuck in these feelings for more than a few minutes. But I guess, if we don’t let people sit in their pain, the permanent changes (positive) that need to take place don’t always happen. Especially in regards to confession and repentance. Sometimes after someone confesses some sin, I think we let them off the hook too soon. Not that we should rub their face in their mistakes, or hold it over their heads. But there is still a great need to hold them more accountable for their choices and to grieve their mistakes and the consequences that follow.