P31 Wannabe

Home as a Pep Rally September 11, 2010

Filed under: Books,Life — Lacey @ 12:29 pm

I finally finished Jill Savage’s My Heart’s at Home, but I realized I only shared my favorite parts up to chapter 4. So, I’m going to try to include my favorite ideas and info from each chapter over the next few days. I hope you enjoy what I share…even if not, then it still serves as my own journal or notes from my reading. Here’s some good info from ch. 5 “Home as a Pep Rally”

To give a little bit of an intro/explanation, Jill breaks her book down into chapters about the different facets of life that a home should teach/provide. This chapter discusses home as a pep rally…meaning that its the place for the family members to be encouraged and cheered on in life…

  • “In order for home to serve as an ongoing pep rally, we have to intentionally create an atmosphere of encouragement and celebration.”
  • “Set the standard that all family members will attend one another’s events unless they have something else going on at the same time.”
  • “Another way to celebrate the ordinary is to create traditions or keep your eyes open for random celebrations.” (i.e. special dessert night, good report card)
  • “Its important that families celebrate rites of passage.  Important transitions in a child’s life inclue puberty, school changes…a first job, and getting a driver’s license.”
    • “What happens if parents don’t pay attention to the rites of passage in their children’s lives?  Unfortunately kids will often go out and make up their own rites of passage.  This is where the allure of sexual experimentation or alcohol or drug usage becomes a draw.  Kids want to celebrate their independence in ways that are not only readily available in teen culture, but also incredibly  destructive to their lives.”
  • Birthdays: On their children’s birthdays, Jill and her husband “sneak in and decorate their room and doorway with balloons and streamers.  We also set the dining room table with birthday plates and napkins, and decorate the birthday person’s chair with streamers and balloons.”  And they have cake & ice cream for breakfast.
  • Celebrate Individuality: “As parents we need to model celebrating each other’s differences and refrain from seeing those differences as wrong.  We need to have zero tolerance for sibling rivalry and make sibling revelry the standard for the family.”
  • Encourage effort: “Many of us are such perfectionists that anything less than perfect is grounds for criticism or correction.  When children live in “perfectionistic” environments where there seems to be no chance they will celebrated unless they are perfect, they either lack determination because they’ve learned they can’t win or they become people pleasers trying to earn the recognition, and ultimately love, they long for.”
    • I know I’ll have to work hard on this one to never communicate that Haddie (or any future children) have to be perfect.  I know that many times I’m too hard on others and myself.  I have a hard time balancing encouragement with spurring others on/constructive criticism.  Why is it so much harder to say nice encouraging things than to nicely point out where they need work?  At least its hard for me…

2 Responses to “Home as a Pep Rally”

  1. addy1013 Says:

    i really think i should borrow this book from you. especially with the two big boys right now. i really need to figure out how to celebrate little things!

    • Lacey Says:

      It’s all yours. Just gonna work on copying down my favorite notes from it. I still need to return your other book…but I still need to copy down a few more notes from it, too. I’m really looking forward to going through her other 2 books. Just started the Living With Less So Your Family Has More

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