P31 Wannabe

Mom, Site Manager October 3, 2010

Filed under: Books,God thoughts,Life — Lacey @ 5:16 pm

Here’s my favorite excerpts from ch. 13 of Jill Savage’s book, My Heart’s At Home.

(Italics are direct quotes, regular text are my comments)

Jill Savage started the chapter by discussing how she was a mother of a preschooler for 17 years! All I can say is God bless that woman!  I can’t imagine!

The Value of Home

Rose Kennedy: “I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that demanded the best that I could bring to it.”

What happens at home is central to a child’s ability to function throughout his life.  Home is where bonding takes place and a child learns to attach to relationships.  When a child can attach, that means they learn to trust people.  Learning to trust is essential for having healthy relationships throughout life.

Home is where a child learns who they are.  Each of us is created uniquely by God.  We have unique gifts, talents, and temperaments.  Home is the place those are discovered and celebrated.

Home is where we learn whose we are.  We’re not designed to journey through life alone.  God created us to have relationship with Him.  The most effective place for us to learn that is not at church–it’s at home!

The Ministry of Availability

Christians need to have enough margin in their life so that when God asks them to do something, they are available to do it.  He calls this the ministry of availability.

  • This is one of the reasons that led to me becoming a stay-at-home mom.  Besides needing less stress (for my own emotional/physical health), and wanting to be home to take care of Haddie, I really wanted to have more time to help other people.  These last couple weeks I’ve had a few opportunities to serve and help some of my friends and I’ve loved those chances.  It has reminded me that I need to stop being so focused on maintaining my own home and having a neat/orderly planned out day.  God rarely seems to use those “organized” times to work.  I do believe that God is a God of order and not chaos, but I believe He works much better when He’s not confined to the little boxes of our plans.  But I do struggle with finding order in my life if I’m not following my own set plans for my day.  Still working on finding the right balance and margins.

Instant availability without continuous presence is probably the best role a mother can play.  There is a balance between being there for your children and smothering them with your presence.

Availability doesn’t mean that Mom is so focused on the needs of her family that she cannot take care of her own physical and emotional needs.

The Art of Self-Care

The best thing for a child in the long run is to have a parent who can take care of them beyond the crisis…In other words, we need to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our family.

Common challenges that drain moms…

  • Isolation
  • No Time Off
  • Very little sense of accomplishment
    • You and I can’t look for our sense of accomplishment on a daily basis.  We have to look for it over the long haul…that’s about 18 years or so.
      • This is a hard one for me to grasp sometimes.  I’m such a checklist, task oriented person, that if I don’t see actual progress or tasks accomplished, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything.
    • A woman in the profession of mothering serves and cares for her family as an extension of her relationship with God: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these…you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).  With that perspective, there are no menial tasks, there is much accomplishment, and there is a higher sense of purpose.
      • What a great reminder!  I had never applied those verses to caring for my own family.  Interesting to think about.

The Art of Homemaking

Cultivate the skills, not only of housekeeping, but of making a home for your family.  As you know already, they are not always exactly the same.  Housekeeping consists of the laundry, the dishes, the toilets, and floors that need to be scrubbed, but homemaking is something else…

Homemaking is the deliberate cultivation of beauty and productivity in family relationships.  Homemaking is about helping your family feel loved and comforted.  Homemaking is about celebrating each other, and about caring for each other, as well as for your friends and extended families and even the occasional stranger.  Anyone can keep house.  Not everyone bothers to make a home.

Aromatherapy at Home

Jill shared some interesting ideas of how smells make a house more of a home: cleaning smells, smell of cookies baking, fresh flowers, candles, etc.  She shared some curious ideas from another author: She shared her secret of boiling an onion on the stove when she didn’t know what was for dinner.  The smell of the onion soothed her and spoke volumes to the family because it said, “Dinner is cooking.  Mom’s got it under control.” This same author also sometimes sprayed Pledge as air freshener.  Sounds a little silly to me, but I guess I do something similar by using plug-ins and lighting candles.

One of the reasons I’m at home is to provide an environment my family wants to come home to.

-That’s a pretty short and sweet explanation…and I want to be the same way.

The Power of Mother Love

You and I are deeply affected by our relationship with our mother and one of the most powerful gifts we can give to our children is our own emotional health.

A child should never feel as if they need to earn a mother’s love.  This will leave a void in their heart all of their life.  A mother’s love needs to be given unconditionally to establish trust and a firm foundation of emotional intimacy in a child’s life.


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