Throughout my life I’ve been disappointed in people. I know it’s only natural. We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. We’re all sinners. But so many times these disappointments come from people we least expect. People who we look up to. People who are supposed to know better and be better.
Growing up in the church and going to public school, I saw my fair share of Christians fall away, make mistakes and give up. I’ve also seen a few who repent and get back on track.
And through out my school years, especially middle and high school, I saw many of the friends I had grown up with since preschool fall into the wrong crowds and make stupid decisions. I even saw one of my closest and strongest Christian friends turn her back on her Savior as she went through her college years.
As a result of all these friends who changed, I really haven’t kept in contact with many people from high school. Yes, I’m friends with some of them on Facebook and we occasionally comment on each other’s pictures or statuses. But I never was able (or felt the desire) to keep in contact with people who ended up differing so greatly from me.
This becomes even more complicated when these relationships also end up being similar as those in your own family.
Unfortunately, my own family members have made some pretty serious decisions that I strongly disagree with (only because I know that these actions are very wrong). Thankfully (I’m sure due to God), many of these decisions have resolved themselves…although not without serious consequences and permanent life changes. Some of those first decisions didn’t surprise me. Others did very much. But with all of them I was saddened and disappointed. Not so much because they disappointed me personally (although they did) but because I could see the consequences that would result and I knew how very sad their decisions would make God. Not just sadden him, but how the decisions could permanently destroy their relationships with Him.
All that being said, I was again saddened and disappointed today when I found out about another mistake someone close to me (no one that most of you know. And definitely not Seth or anyone in MI church…just in case your mind is going there) has chosen to make multiple times. I expected more. I trusted him. I looked up to him. I know he knows better. But yet he gave into temptation. Of course the best of us do. Again, no one is perfect. But it still saddens and frustrates me to hear that he’s making the same mistake that he’s been disappointed in others for making. The same mistakes that permanently altered his life a few years ago (not by his own doing those times). He’s a Christian so I do expect more from him. And today I really spent time praying for him. And I pray that he will make the right decisions from here on out.
I know this post is quite cryptic (it’s meant to be) and is out of the norm for me. I’ve been thinking about this a lot today and just needed to get it out there. I hope if this person reads it…they’ll understand more of my heart than I could probably verbally express and that they’ll take it all the best way possible because thats how I mean it.