This last week I was quite disappointed with myself. We had just gotten back from THUH event at Johnson University. The week had been awesome, the last night one of the best. It was super emotional for everyone. The kids really let it all put and made some awesome decisions. There were barely any dry eyes in our group. Even Seth cried after seeing some of our kids confess and repent. And getting him to cry is quite a feat. He is not an outwardly emotional guy at all. In fact, this is the first time he’d cried since before we started dating almost 10 yrs ago. No joke! And of course I had to miss it! He decided to shed a few at the exact time I left to get us some tissues. Honestly I was only gone for a couple of mins at best. But anyways, back to the point.
I was so proud of our group and all the rededications and baptisms that took place that last night. We had a great trip home (minus the bus sauna). The kids really didn’t complain much and they really all got along. That was quite a feat considering we didn’t leave the college to head back to Florida until 3 am, drove through the night, baked in the heat and all. And since we’ve been back I have felt a definite change in or kids. Their attitudes have been better. There is more of a sense of community I can honestly see that they are loving, praying for, and working to support each other and I’m loving it.
It was so worth it to go on the trip. I enjoyed being with the kids. Building deeper and sometimes goofier relationships with them. There is something mysterious and obviously divine that goes on during weeks like this together.
It was even worth it to go even though I missed my baby. Honestly, I’m sure it was God in that I didn’t worry or desperately miss her and that she did so well spending time with each of my parents and my sister. She even slept through the nights there! And she hadn’t even been doing that here! The trip was even worth it despite what behavior I had to endure from Haddie when we got back. Talk about super clingy and fussy! I’ve never experienced it so bad! But I took it in stride realizing that this was her making up for lost time. And I’ve read multiple places that children will hold it together and fall apart once they get home because home and their parents are their “safe zone.” So I figured that this was her letting out all the emotions she didn’t during the 8 days we were gone. Still I was glad when she got it all out and we were back to normal.
Back to my first topic…I was disappointed with myself because I had spent this great spiritual week with these kids, seen them make decisions, been reminded again how important God’s Word is and yet I came back and failed to really put it into practice. I spent time with God two days at the beginning of the week and then completely missed it the rest. And I couldn’t motivate myself to do much at all. Sure I did some laundry, but I didnt fully unpack until a week later. I was tired from the trip, but I didn’t expect to be that worn out!
So Sunday’s sermon really applied to me and served as the butt kicking I needed. It was a great reminder that we constantly have to battle the flesh but it’s our choice who we are going to let win. And I’ve been letting my fleshly desires win a lot recently…in my sleeping in, laziness, lack of discipline in my diet, lack of physical exercise, neglecting my daily time with God, going to bed too late, selfishness, etc. The sermon also reminded me that I can choose how my life turns out. I have to work to get to where want to be. Growth takes effort and we’re supposed to be growing spiritually…and it just doesn’t happen by itself. And most importantly, all these efforts will be in vain if I’m not depending on My Lord. I can’t change it on my own. And when I team up with Him and use the resources He’s provided (His Word, prayer and His people), the results will be awesome!
So I am going to purposely strive to get my priorities in order and make better decisions, including learning to better discipline myself.
I was proud (in a good godly way) of some of my choices today (Monday). So here’s my patting my back…
1. Got up at an earlier time than last week (still not really early, but I’m going to progressively move the time back).
2. Worked on painting the kitchen. Got most of it done. I’ve decided that I’m going to stop putting off these house projects. So, I’m aiming to focus on one room a week or so and get all the odds and ins finally finished! And nicely motivate Seth to finish his parts in each room, too. (Dont worry I already warned him. Lol)
3. Had a good prayer time. Read my Bible with Haddie. She’s already memorizing the order of the New Testament books…she’s got the first 6 pretty well down! These kids have so much more potential and memory than we typically give them credit for!
4. Drank more water than coke. Im going to try to not buy any more cans and slowly eliminate it from my diet. I don’t want to go cold turkey and end up with caffeine withdrawal headaches or anything.
5. Ate a decent amount of fruits and veggies instead of junk (not counting the dinner of pizza hut…lol…hey, I couldn’t cook, my kitchen was still torn apart!).
Hopefully I’ll be adding some exercise to that list soon. Although painting and cleaning has got to burn some calories, right?