I’ve been waiting since the end of March. And I’m still waiting.
On what? On starting down the road of expanding our family. No, no…it’s not what you’re thinking.
See, after my pregnancy with Haddie and the 18 hrs of labor (11+) with no epidural then the emergency C-Section, I pretty well decided that I didn’t want to go that path again. I didn’t have a high risk pregnancy or a complicated one. But I was just miserable most of the time. Morning sickness, throwing up then going to work, daily headaches, feeling faint a lot, swelling, and just not feeing good. Of course I in no way regret choosing that, but I really don’t want to willingly choose 9 more months of torture. But I do want at least one more child.
On the other hand, we’ve always said we wanted to adopt at least one child. Seth grew up with two adopted sisters and he always wanted to adopt as well. And I agreed. I wanted to have one child biologically to get the whole experience and to get all those natural mommy instincts. I thought it would kinda hard to adopt without having a child first. I felt like it wouldn’t come as as natural for me or something.
Well, after having Haddie, Seth pretty well felt content. He didn’t feel ready to have any other children, and he still doesn’t. However he knows that you never really feel “ready.” Sometimes you just have to go for it and adjust afterwards. So, he knows that I want more than one and that that was always the plan “we signed up for.” So he finally agreed to start the ball rolling to adopt.
See, based on everything I’ve read and people I’ve talked to, it usually takes a year or more for the entire adoption process. So he figures we’ll be more ready by that point anyways.
We have ruled out adopting privately. It’s just too expensive and we dont have that much money. I know there’s loans and grants and such, but I have a hard time spending $15-20,000. And there’s just too many kids waiting In foster care for permanent homes.
Adopting from foster care is virtually free and the kids are provided with state insurance until they’re 18, free Florida college tuition and even monthly stipends.
You can’t just adopt any kids from foster care of course, but there are many whose parental rights have been permanently severed by the courts and who are waiting for adoptions.
It has really become a passion/burden of mine to do something about it. I think as Christians we should be called to help.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
(James 1:27 NIV84)
I read somewhere about how the early Christians would be the ones to rescue the infants that the Romans would leave to die in the trash dumps and rocks.
I think we should be known as those who help the helpless. Who else is more helpless than children stuck in foster care or orphanages?
There’s a movement going on inside the church/parachurch organizations to really emphasize adoption. And I admire it. It’s said that if only one to two families in each church in Florida would adopt one child there would be no more children in foster care. Wouldn’t that be incredible?
There’s an awesome book I read about one church that dedicated themselves to adoption. In 3 yrs their small church adopted 72 of the toughest kids in foster care and not one of them was ever sent back. Check out this awesome story:
And their book: Small Town, Big Miracle
Ok, so coming full circle, why are we stuck waiting? Well, to adopt from foster care you have to first take a 10 week course called the MAPP class. Then you have to go through a number of interviews, home studies, physicals, etc. After that then you can start looking into children and finally meet them if its ok’d by their social workers. Then you can have day visits, which later progress to day trips, then to overnights, then to weekends, and then to them living with you. If that all goes well, then there’s a 90 day period until the adoption can be finalized.
Yes, it seems like soooo much work and waiting. But isn’t a child worth this? And the state has to go through this rigorous checkout process to weed out those weirdos and potential abusers and such. But somehow they still get through to adopt. There have been a few recent cases that have been in the news and they seriously break my heart.
So yeah. We’re stuck on a waiting list to even get into the class. I called a couple weeks ago to check in and the lady said they were starting another class soon and that hopefully we’d get into this one….I’m still waiting for that invitation letter to come in the mail…
Until then I just keep driving myself crazy by looking at the kids waiting for adoptions…
Wanna see some?